BULLYING ~ WHAT IS IT?
Definition: Repeated physical, verbal sexual, or psychological attacks or intimidation by an individual who is perceived as being physically or psychologically stronger than another.
TYPES OF BULLYING
Physical
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Verbal
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Relational
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BE MORE THAN A BYSTANDER
STAND up for what is right. If someone is harassing or bullying another person on campus do not encourage the bully by laughing or joining in, even if you don’t particularly like the victim.
BE a real friend. If you have a friend who is a bully, you may want to tell him or her how wrong you feel his or her actions are.
SHOW your courage. If you are in a situation where you are afraid the bully will turn on you or dislike you if you don’t join in, then walk away from the situation. Later on you may want to take some time to think about why you are hanging out with someone you are afraid of and who hurts others for fun.
RESCUE a victim. If you observe a situation where someone is being continually bullied, tell an adult. It takes courage to come forward and help someone else. The true cowards are those who pick on people who are weaker, smaller or alone.
BE a real friend. If you have a friend who is a bully, you may want to tell him or her how wrong you feel his or her actions are.
SHOW your courage. If you are in a situation where you are afraid the bully will turn on you or dislike you if you don’t join in, then walk away from the situation. Later on you may want to take some time to think about why you are hanging out with someone you are afraid of and who hurts others for fun.
RESCUE a victim. If you observe a situation where someone is being continually bullied, tell an adult. It takes courage to come forward and help someone else. The true cowards are those who pick on people who are weaker, smaller or alone.
Reality Matters: Cruel Schools: Bullying and Violence
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Part I - “Trapped by Fear” & Don’t Join In” (9 min.)
School violence, including teasing, taunting, and bullying, is explored. The students who killed classmates at Columbine High School in CO and in Paducah, KY are shown as examples of kids who were bullied. Part II - “Tell Someone” (5 min.) Brian Head, who committed suicide after being teased for years, is the focus of a discussion about the need for adult intervention. Adults and students express opinions about school violence being treated as a crime. Part III - “Get Help” (6:16 min.) Adam, in prison for murder, and Nicole, in an alternative school, describe their inability to control their anger. Both express regret for not getting help from an adult. Part IV - “Be Part of the Solution” (2:48 min.) This segment explores strategies that students can use to help stop bullying, particularly stressing the importance of telling adults about bullies and their victims. |
GIRL BULLIES ~ RELATIONAL AGGRESSION
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Players in the Drama Triangle
The Victim: Someone who plays the victim. They often complain that the situation is beyond their control and will blame others. The Persecutor: Present themselves as the “experts” on situations. They will decide who is “wrong” and who is “right” in a situation. They are often judgmental and punishing. The Firestarter: Gets things stirred up by starting (or spreading) gossip; then stands back and watches the situation blow-up. |
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Boys? Are boys sometimes players in the Drama Triangle?
Yes! Firestarters can be either male or female. Their goal is to feel important, powerful, in control and a “part” of things.
Who is MOST responsible for creating and sustaining the drama?
The Firestarter --- if you take away this person’s power, the triangle collapses.
3 negative consequences of being a Firestarter:
What can students do to end the Drama Triangle?
Yes! Firestarters can be either male or female. Their goal is to feel important, powerful, in control and a “part” of things.
Who is MOST responsible for creating and sustaining the drama?
The Firestarter --- if you take away this person’s power, the triangle collapses.
3 negative consequences of being a Firestarter:
- You may lose the trust and respect of friends you gossiped about
- You may get a reputation of being a gossip and people won’t trust you with information anymore
- People will gossip about YOU the way you gossiped about THEM!
What can students do to end the Drama Triangle?
- Stay out of conflicts that do not directly involve you.
- Give your friends credit for being able to resolve their own problems.
- Stay out of the middle.
CYBERBULLYING
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Cyberbullies use the Internet or cell phones to send hurtful messages or post information to damage people’s reputation and friendships. Here are some examples:
Flaming. Online fights using electronic messages with angry and vulgar language. Harassment. Repeatedly sending nasty, mean, and insulting messages. Denigration. “Dissing” someone online. Sending or posting gossip or rumors about a person to damage his or her reputation or friendships. |
Impersonation. Pretending to be someone else and sending or posting material to get that person in trouble or danger or to damage that person’s reputation or friendships.
Outing. Sharing someone’s secrets or embarrassing information or images online.
Trickery. Tricking someone into revealing secrets or embarrassing information, then
Exclusion. Intentionally and cruelly excluding someone from an online group.
Cyberstalking. Repeated, intense harassment and denigration that includes threats or intimidation.
Outing. Sharing someone’s secrets or embarrassing information or images online.
Trickery. Tricking someone into revealing secrets or embarrassing information, then
Exclusion. Intentionally and cruelly excluding someone from an online group.
Cyberstalking. Repeated, intense harassment and denigration that includes threats or intimidation.
Preventing Cyberbullying
There are several important things that you can to do to avoid being a target of a cyberbully. Here are a few:
• Protect yourself. Never provide any information or images in electronic form that could be used against you.
• Examine how you are communicating. If you find that people are frequently attacking you, look closely at how you are communicating with them. You might be communicating in a way that is irritating others or hurting their feelings.
• Find some new friends. If you are trying to fit into a group of people who are treating you badly, it might be easier to simply find some nicer friends. Life’s too short to waste time trying to be friends with mean people.
• Protect yourself. Never provide any information or images in electronic form that could be used against you.
• Examine how you are communicating. If you find that people are frequently attacking you, look closely at how you are communicating with them. You might be communicating in a way that is irritating others or hurting their feelings.
• Find some new friends. If you are trying to fit into a group of people who are treating you badly, it might be easier to simply find some nicer friends. Life’s too short to waste time trying to be friends with mean people.
What To Do If You are the Target of a Cyberbully
Being the target of a cyberbully can be frustrating, hurtful and humiliating. But there are steps you can take to end the cycle. The most important thing to do is to talk to an adult you trust as soon as you realize there is a problem. Options on how to respond to a harassing text or threatening post may include:
Remember the most important rule: Never retaliate! Keep your hands off the keyboard until you have calmed down enough to figure out what to do.
- Ignore—Do not to respond to instances of teasing or name calling if you can avoid it. Sometimes bullies are encouraged by seeing a reaction. Don't give it to them.
- Record—Keep a record of bullying messages you receive—in hard copy. What separates cyberbullying from normal peer conflict is that a.) it is unprovoked and b.) its intent is to harm and c.) it worsens (is repeated) over time. If you can show an adult either the messages themselves or a diary of when you received them, it may be easier to verify what went on and who the bully was.
- Reach out—Your parents, a favorite teacher, school administrators, counselors, and even police officers can help you deal with cyberbullying. Your state laws and your school’s policies have rules against cyberbullying. There is no reason to suffer alone when you are the target of bullying.
- Cut off the bully—The National Crime Prevention Council advises victims to stop all communication with the bully when possible. Block your phone number so you no longer receive their calls or texts. "Unfriend" offenders from your Facebook and Instagram accounts.
- Go high-tech—If you’re being bullied via a website, chances are that the bully is going against the website’s terms of use. Reporting bullies to the website administrator may get them removed from the site. The National Crime Prevention Council highlights that on Facebook and Youtube, some of the most popular sites for cyberbullying activity, you can report cyberbullying incidents to the sites’ “safety centers.” The Cyberbullying Research Center also notes that your parents can help by getting in touch with your internet service provider, cell phone service provider, or content provider. In some cases, the providers can look into the bullying incident to uncover an anonymous bully and may also be able to take down offensive posts.
Remember the most important rule: Never retaliate! Keep your hands off the keyboard until you have calmed down enough to figure out what to do.
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